Rest

Almost two years into my job here in Hutchinson, one of the greatest challenges has been the pace that things run at in a bigger church. I have often found myself tired, grumpy, uninspired and struggling to get things done. And then there are the bad days...

To help correct that and keep me and my family sane Shiloh and I have been working toward me finding better space away from church and work. I want to be in youth ministry for a long time, so I need to find rest in Christ and with my family regularly.

To that end, last weekend we went to my aunt and uncle's house in Oklahoma. It is one of the most restful places on the planet to me. And I came back with some new energy and decidedly non-grumpy attitude.

A few pics and a video:

30 Days- August

I have decided to give myself 30 day challenges each month to help gain some self-discipline and to do things that interest me or would better my life. I will tell about each of these after they are done.

This month I gave up all non-water drinks. Including coffee. Coffee. For a month the very smell of that wonderful drink has driven me crazy. Even though it's been incredibly hot, I have wanted just a sip of the java. Or two sips. Or maybe just an entire pot. But I reminded myself of my goal and I waited. Until yesterday when my 30 days were up. I went all in with about 32oz of coffee between 815 and 915 yesterday morning. At first, things were fine. I enjoyed the taste and smell and the small caffeine kick.

Then trouble came. I started feeling a little dizzy. Things started to move around the room and I had a headache. What was my good friend coffee doing to me? Was it punishing me for ignoring it for so long? I hadn't thought coffee grounds could be angry, but now I knew differently. I trudged through an afternoon meeting feeling terrible and waited for the effects to wear off.

In the end, I feel like this 30 days taught me that I rely way too much on coffee (or pop) to keep me going and that I need to drink it occasionally and not every day in copious amounts.

And. And. And.

After writing my last post, I was reading through it before publishing and noticed that almost every sentence started with the word "and". I went about trying to correct it and wondered if it said anything about me, other than my total lack of care for some of the most basic rules of writing.

(Kinda like the word "and" with the quotations around it up above. Why are you supposed to put the period inside of the quotations? I think that is stupid and doesn't make sense, so I don't do it, unless the period was already inside the quote.)

I decided that what it maybe says about me is that I live a run-on sentence kind of life. I move from one thing to the next, never quite finishing one place before I have to be at the next. Things just keep going and going and going and going and going. And at (dang, there I go again.)

At some point, I have to stop and find time for punctuation in my life. I run right past all kinds of questions marks, periods, and exclamation points just because I am in such a hurry to get to whatever is next. My contract at the church offers me one personal retreat day a month. I've been a pastor for about 90 months of my life. I think I've taken 4 retreat days. I think 3 of those totaled about 6 hours all together. So really, in 7.5 years of full-time pastoring, I've taken 1.75 out of a possible 90 retreat days.

No wonder I can never stop. So, this month, a retreat day it will be. Mark it down on your calendars. August 22. I'm going to stop, be still, remember, listen, and spend time with the One who gives me life.

And then these sentences can just go back to being my inability to follow basic grammar rules.

Prayer Promises

I have always tended to be the type of person that tells people that I would pray for them. And then never does. I think I kinda figured that was ok. My thought was that next time they faced whatever they were facing, they could find strength and encouragement in the fact that I said I was praying.

Did I mention that I'm a moron?

I recently decided to stop saying "I will pray for you" to people unless I meant it. Unless I was going to enter into life with them and be a part of whatever was going on. And to take the time to pray with them when we were together.

Surprise! God has been showing up in those relationships and places with amazing regularity and power. And not because I can be such a source of strength and encouragement, but because God is strength and the source of all encouragement. He is our strongtower.

I'm glad he loves morons and keeps giving chances for me to learn about, know, and serve him!

Story, Signs, and Sacred Rhythms Chapter 1

How's that for a headline grabbing title! Oh wait...

I just started reading through Chris Folmsbee's new book, Story, Signs, and Sacred Rhythms. At the end of each chapter he offers reflection and discussion questions. I thought I would reflect here, and if there is anyone around for a discussion, let's discuss!

1. What are some of your current frustrations with youth ministry?
I am frustrated by the "me-centered" nature of youth ministry. I feel like I spend a lot of time making kids love church and God by making it fun and relevant. Then, when they graduate high school and church isn't always those things, they lose interest. And I'm pretty sure that's because it shouldn't be about "me" in the first place. Also, a new frustration in a bigger setting is the feeling of competition between youth groups. If we aren't awesome, then students will go to wherever is. I don't think this makes for very effective youth ministry.

2. What encourages you about the current state of youth ministry?
People are asking questions and longing to do things differently. I am continuously encouraged by different ym blogs and ideas, and I am encouraged by the openness to share ideas in public forums.

3. In what ways do you see yourself advancing a limited view of God to students?
We talk a lot about the love and grace of God, but not a lot about the judgment of God. We tend to talk about the parts of God that are easy for students to understand and not wrestle with the ones that not all of them can immediately comprehend.

4. In what ways are you helping your students with an unlimited view of God?
Getting outside the doors of the church and experiencing a God who can't be contained, rather than learning about a God who we can put into any box we wish.

5. Do you agree with the statement: "Youth ministry is a theological endeavor"? Why or why not?
Yes, I agree. Youth ministry has to be theological (without being stuffy) because otherwise what is the framework for students to build a life of following after Christ on? If youth ministry is boiled down to do's and do not's, it is too easy to abandon those lists when things are hard. But a good understanding of God and the Bible gives something to hold onto and to filter life through.

6. In what ways are you currently helping your students develop context and meaning for God's mission? How might you do better?
Our junior high ministry just spent the spring semester going through the story of God (using these two resources and combining them) and discovering why the stories of the Bible matter to us today. I also try to give practical application for how whatever we are talking about matters to what students do on a day-to-day basis.
I could do better by not trying to boil everything into a lesson to learn, but give students the tools to learn and discover meaning on their own.

Chapter 2 to come soon!

Vertical in Bolivia trip blog

Head over to verticalinbolivia.blogspot.com to follow our high school mission trip to Bolivia.

Dreams

Had a dream last night that just now, at 11:59 am hit me like a ton of bricks. I was teaching students and telling them that they needed to be ready to follow anywhere God would ask them to go. I was passionately pleading with them to go into the uncomfortable and risky places that God is most certainly calling them to go.

After that the dream switched to me in bed waking up with God or an angel talking to me and telling me that my family had to move to somewhere next week and leave behind our nice, comfortable life in Kansas. I was horrified! I blinked to try and make it all go away and, when it wouldn't, I begged God to change. Certainly not my family, and not so soon! Give me 10 or 15 years and then, sure, call us to a new place. And if it could comfortable and easy, all the better. The begging continued, the call did not change.

As I sit and remember the dream, I don't remember the place and I am not sure there was one. I don't think that is really the point. I am still confident that God has my family in the place he wants us to be. But, I do think he is calling us to go into the "uncomfortable" places of youth ministry to offer hope, love, and redemption.

A few months ago Don Miller posted this blog about asking ourselves "What if..." questions. And as I have thought and prayed and listened to God, it became clear to me that one of my what if's involved releasing my fears about being inadequate as a youth pastor and using who God made me to be to love students and their families without reservation or fear.

And, you know what, I'm scared of how God might show up in that particular "What if's" of my life.

What might it mean for my family?
What could it mean for my security and comfort?
Will it just drain me and hurt me?
Does it matter if it just drains me and hurts me?
Can I really trust God when I struggle to trust me?

I don't know the answers to all those yet, but I want to follow the Holy Spirit as it leads, wherever and however that may be. I am more and more certain that wherever I am, it's supposed to be crazy and unpredictable and hard and beautiful as I see God do his thing.

May we all find those places.