Dreams

Had a dream last night that just now, at 11:59 am hit me like a ton of bricks. I was teaching students and telling them that they needed to be ready to follow anywhere God would ask them to go. I was passionately pleading with them to go into the uncomfortable and risky places that God is most certainly calling them to go.

After that the dream switched to me in bed waking up with God or an angel talking to me and telling me that my family had to move to somewhere next week and leave behind our nice, comfortable life in Kansas. I was horrified! I blinked to try and make it all go away and, when it wouldn't, I begged God to change. Certainly not my family, and not so soon! Give me 10 or 15 years and then, sure, call us to a new place. And if it could comfortable and easy, all the better. The begging continued, the call did not change.

As I sit and remember the dream, I don't remember the place and I am not sure there was one. I don't think that is really the point. I am still confident that God has my family in the place he wants us to be. But, I do think he is calling us to go into the "uncomfortable" places of youth ministry to offer hope, love, and redemption.

A few months ago Don Miller posted this blog about asking ourselves "What if..." questions. And as I have thought and prayed and listened to God, it became clear to me that one of my what if's involved releasing my fears about being inadequate as a youth pastor and using who God made me to be to love students and their families without reservation or fear.

And, you know what, I'm scared of how God might show up in that particular "What if's" of my life.

What might it mean for my family?
What could it mean for my security and comfort?
Will it just drain me and hurt me?
Does it matter if it just drains me and hurts me?
Can I really trust God when I struggle to trust me?

I don't know the answers to all those yet, but I want to follow the Holy Spirit as it leads, wherever and however that may be. I am more and more certain that wherever I am, it's supposed to be crazy and unpredictable and hard and beautiful as I see God do his thing.

May we all find those places.